Jumpin' Jehosephat ... its el Chupacabre

[A somewhat frightful but entertaining bedtime story]

One evening as blue-eyed Little Frances with the auburn hair was out frolicking in the summer meadow catching, categorizing, cataloging, tagging, and releasing undomesticated butterflickers with the aid of a hav-a-hart flutterby net, she was startled by a humongous ogley-eyed Chupacabre beast that was also out collecting things. She knew it was el Chupacabre although she had never actually seen one before because that was the only thing it could have been; and should you [astute listener] ever encounter el Chupacabre yourself while alone and away from civilization you will understand just how easily its name will spring into your head. El Chupacabre was equipped in a like manner to her own but with a burlap sack for the catching of bunny rabbits, opulent opossums, unsuspecting little children, and other warm bloodied fauna that it would carry away home and to place on its dinner plate.

"Oh dear me," thought little Frances and her eyes grew quite large, "I have to run away very fast or the fierce Chupacabre beast will eat me."

"Oh lucky me," thought the opportunistic Chupacabre, “I have stumbled on a frightened little girl child. Catching her up for my dinner will be a cinch." It smacked its lips, and then sniggered gleefully; and with a sonorous sound it exhaled: "a-huh-a-huh-a-huh-huh-huh."

Little Frances' mind was racing away from her lickety split. Quickly, before it could get away from her completely, she imposed on the Chupacabre: "Would you be so kind good sir and hold this for me a second,” and she thrust toward him her wire bound field notes with its accompanying set of artist pencils.

The Chupacabre was so taken aback by her forced pleasantries that it accepted the offerings before it could remember what it was all about.

"Hold onto this as well," added Little Frances and she pushed the butterfly net into his hands.

For the longest time the Chupacabre could not take its eyes away from the gifts bestowed on it; and when at last it did so, Little Frances was nowhere to be seen. But on second glance, there she was: far out in the meadow and sprinting to freedom.

"Foolish me," thought the Chupacabre. "I have been made a fool of. But little does the child know, us Chupacabre's can run very, very fast. I will overtake her and put her in the sack with the cow, the goat, the pig, the duck, the chicken, and the bumblebee. Tonight I will make the grandest stew of any I've ever made or I am not Chupacabre." The Chupacabre slung the heavy sack across its shoulder and chased after the fleeing child. It cast aside the field binder, color pencils, and butterfly net that Little Frances had thrust on it and those items settled down amidst the meadow flowers and industrious honey bees until such time as someone recovered them.

Before very long the Chupacabre began to tire for it was carrying quite a burden on its shoulder in the form of a horse, a cow, a goat, a pig, a duck, a chicken, and a bumblebee. These creatures were all bundled together in the burlap sack. Afraid lest the child would get away it called ahead to her: "Young lady, give yourself up. It is no use trying to escape from me. Do you not know that Chupacabre's will never abandon a chase no matter how far the journey takes him?"

"I know no such thing," Little Frances called back to him. "I will run and run and run and run until you are no longer behind me."

A short while later the Chupacabre's legs began to tire and its breathing became jagged. Little Frances, looking across her shoulder saw this and called back to him: "Silly Chupacabre. You will never catch me carrying all that extra weight. Why do you not throw down the sack with the horse, the cow, the pig, the duck, the chicken, and the bumblebee and perhaps you will have a fighting chance? Why she offered it this advice I do not know, but there was no harm done for the Chupacabre would hear nothing of it.

"Never,” Answered the Chupacabre. "I will not abandon what is mine by right. And never will I quit the chase. Mock me while you can child, you will soon join the horse, the cow, the pig, the duck, the chicken, and the bumblebee in the sack and accompany me home for my dinner.

"Ha ha ha," laughed Little Frances. "This will be a merry chase." She wasn't really happy, in fact she was quite scared, but she hoped the sound of laughter would irritate the mean old Chupacabre and maybe it would quit the chase. What her laughter did was make the beast more determined than ever to catch the impudent child.

The chase went on and on: across fields of clover, through fields of grain, over fields of down and thistle, and ever, ever on. With each step the Chupacabre became more and more exhausted and less and less sure that it would ever catch the child. "Young lady, give yourself up." It cried out. "It is no use trying to escape from me. Do you not know that Chupacabre's will never abandon a chase no matter how far the journey takes him?"

"I know no such thing," Little Frances called back to him. "I will run and run and run and run until you are no longer behind me. Why do you not throw down the sack with the horse, the cow, the pig, the duck, the chicken, and the bumblebee and perhaps you will have a fighting chance? "

"Never,” Answered the Chupacabre. "I will not abandon what is mine rightfully. And never will I quit the chase. Mock me while you can child, you will soon join the horse, the cow, the pig, the duck, the chicken, and the bumblebee in the sack and accompany me home for my dinner.

"Ha ha ha," laughed Little Frances. "This will be a merry chase."

The pursuit went on and on: over hill, over dale, across fox den and barrow; and the sun dropped lower in the sky with each passing moment. The Chupacabre was so tired it could hardly lift one foot before the other, but still it refused to quit the chase; and Little Frances always bounded a short distance ahead of it laughing and singing: "Ha ha ha ha. You're a tortoise I'm a hare. You'll never catch me from way back there."

"Young lady, let us end this game." It cried. "It is no use thinking you can escape from me. Do you not know that Chupacabre's will never abandon a chase no matter how far the journey takes him?"

"I know no such thing," Little Frances called back to him. "I will run and run and run and run until you are no longer behind me. Why do you not throw down the sack wi......?"

"I will do it,” called back the Chupacabre to her. "I will drop the sack with the horse, the cow, the goat, the pig, the duck, the chicken, and the bumblebee if you will promise to keep your word to me that I will have a fighting chance."

"I can guarantee it," said Little Frances, "and I am nothing unless immodestly truthful." But unbeknownst to the Chupacabre she had her two fingers crossed and the sly wink of her eye betrayed no telltale meaning whatsoever.

"I believe you." Said the Chupacabre and it dropped the burdensome sack with the horse, the cow, the pig, the duck, the chicken, and the bumblebee inside and bounded forth with renewed vigor. But still the pursuit continued for a ways with Little Frances giving up no ground to her pursuer. "Why do you still run away from me," asked the Chupacabre. "Where is the fighting chance we spoke of?"

"Oh, it is coming even as we speak," answered Little Frances; and with these words she applied the brakes and came to a halt. "Did I ever tell you, Mr. Chupacabre that I am well practised in the art of self defence?"

"I am not surprised," answered the Chupacabre who was happy for this chance to stop and catch its breath. "I myself am schooled in the martial arts. One never knows what rough types one might meet out in the wilderness and I have studied the arts of self defense from an early age. Still I am disappointed little missy: you promised me a fighting chance and I fear that you, despite your level of training, cannot compete with me in close hand to hand combat."

"Oh I dunno," said Little Frances, "you know what they say: dynamite comes in small packages; and besides, I have on my side the element of surprise.""

The Chupacabre was about to make a well thought out reply but as it opened its mouth to speak the words failed to come ... for flying through the air was Little Frances with an elbo drawn back and one foot extended ... straight at its head ... and screeching...... "EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"

THWACK! KAPOW! KAPLOOYEE!

At the same instant that Little Frances launched her brow line attack, el Chupacabre was assaulted from the rear by an angry horse, an angry cow, an angry goat, an angry pig, an angry duck, an angry chicken, and an angry bumblebee; and just as Little Frances had promised, the fierce Chupacabre got its fighting chance: not much of one, but a slim chance nonetheless. However, in short order el Chupacabre was soundly and thoroughly beaten; and the amazing thing was: the assault was so sudden el Chupacabre had no reason to suspect that Little Frances had not acted alone. Some long while later the sorely sore el Chupacabre peeled itself up from the earth and looked to its bruises with some tenderness.

"Oh boo hoo. She promised me a fighting chance," it pouted, "but I stood no chance at all; not with dynamite of her calibre. But just you wait and see: next time it is I who will have the element of surprise for she did not believe me when I said an el Chupacabre will never abandon a chase no matter how far the journey takes him?"

And so el Chupacabre patched itself up and applied liniment to its bee stings, and salve to its bite wounds, and putty to its heel marks, and ample cotton in its ears, then set out once more on the trail of Little Frances, who by this time had made her way safely home; as had the horse, the cow, the goat, the pig, the duck, the chicken, and the bumblebee. In fact they all went home together and sat around drinking hot chocolate and telling knock knock jokes by the fireplace until daylight. But lagging way behind them and stumbling along with its puffy eyelids and shattered kneecaps, el Chupacabre groaned with every step it took. By and by its pursuit led to a stream and [Chupacabre's not being able to swim] it searched around for a fallen tree bridge to cross over by. There in the moonlight on the brink of the stream it spied a handwritten sign tacked to a stake by an enterprising entrepreneur that read obligingly: Ferry rides 10 Cents – Chupacabre’s discouraged from boarding.

“Cross here I will,” said el Chupacabre, “even though I have no dime to pay my fare. Chupacabres you see do not follow the rules. If one is a Chupacabre one does not need to. “I am at the top of the food chain,” Boasted el Chupacabre. “I will commandeer this ferry and eat anyone that objects. Bu wa ha ha ha ha ha.”

Thus el Chupacabre stepped onto the conveyance which was nothing more than what appeared to be a log floating in the stream; and he shoved away to the other bank. Only [the thing is] he did not make it to the other side. Alas for el Chupacabre, had he read the small print on the base of the sign board he might have had second thoughts about hijacking the ferry service, for it read: George the Alligator, Esq. Needless to say the log was no log at all, but an enormous alligator named George and the ferry a ruse to catch his dinner.



When contacted by reporters from the local gazette and Lady’s Home Weekly the next day, George the Alligator had no clear recollection of the incident with the ferry. When asked if he was aware of the recent Chupacabre sightings he said he was and maybe he had seen one himself. “Oh wow,” the reporters were ecstatic and pressed him to tell them more, “Can you describe it?”

”el Chupacabre? Hmmmm … lessee …. [Smacks lips] ... They taste like chicken.” That is all he would say on the subject and he turned away and industriously applied a toothpick to a stubborn area of his gums.

THE END

Return To Index of Bedtime Stories