Possum Tail! Possum Tail! Where have you been?
It sure is a fright to see you again.
You look as you did on that sad, sad day,
when we laid fresh flowers on your brand new grave.
The Cat's in the cradle, the Man's in the moon
The Baby is born with a silver spoon,
The wheel is broke when it fails to roll, and
nothing pleasant crawls from a deep, dark hole.
Possum Tail! Possum tail! Where have you been?,
I can't say I'm happy to see you again.
In a secluded place, only a short distance off of a narrow dirt road, lies a small and forgotten cemetary. The graves are ancient and the inscriptions have all but faded from the headstones. The cemetary cannot be seen from the road, for it lies beyond a wooden rail fence and is overgrown with tall weeds. Dandelions, Beggarweed, Sicklepod, even Starbur and an occasional Sunflower wrap the place in an aura of neglect. A Mulberry tree stands on the edge of the grounds, it's branches leaning out over the wooden rail fence and it's purple fruits hanging daintily above the road. Pedestrians who have traveled the road at night quicken their pace as they pass by the mulberry tree. It is rumored that strange sounds can be heard there. It is even said that if you linger beneath the tree, voices will call out to you from the darkness. I would advise that one should never, ever eat the fruit from that tree, for it's roots have tapped into an unholy grave.
******
One moonless night two travelers paused beside the mulberry tree along that lonely stretch of road. The hour was late and the wind was blowing strongly, a chill was in the air that was not altogether caused by the breeze. One traveler spoke to the other: "Bow! Wow!" Oh, forgive me. I neglected to mention that the two travelers were dogs? One was a German Police dog named 'Tay'. The other was a Brittany Spaniel named 'Britt'. "We are here, little pal." Spoke Tay. "This is where I work." Britt looked about her. "I am greatly impressed," said she, "but I thought you said you worked in a boneyard." "I do work in a boneyard," said Tay. "And it lies just over the fence there." "Can we go there," asked Britt. "I have never seen a boneyard before." "Not until I deputize you," replied Tay. "Only authorized law enforcement types are allowed into a boneyard. And only them that pledges an allegience to serve and protect the treasure hordes of his forefathers." "That I can do," said Britt. "Alright then," said Tay. "Repeat after me:" "I Brittany, do swear to uphold the standards of Police dogs the world over By preserving the sanctity of the hard work and dedication of our forefathers By abstaining from and preventing the wanton looting of Boneyards Under penalty of a punishment so fearsome it cannot be described in words" "I now pronounce you a Deputy police dog," resumed Tay. "Never forget that you have sworn an allegience to the Police Dog's creed. We can now go patrol the Boneyard together." "Oh My Gosh," exclaimed Britt. "Look at all of these big flat rocks. Are there bones buried under every one of them?" "That is correct," answered Tay. "There is writing on these stones," observed Britt. "That identifies the dog who owns them," said Tay. "And those numbers tell just how many bones are buried down there." "Oooooh, look at this," exclaimed Britt. "Most of these bone piles belonged to a dog named R.I.P. He must have been a very famous dog." "That he was, Little Buddy. Ol' Rip was the most famous dog that has ever lived. He has buried more bones than any other dog the world over." "I think I will enjoy this job," said Britt. "Perhaps," said Tay. "It gets lonely out here at night, and a fellow sometimes gets to thinking about all of those bones buried just beneath his feet, and the saliva will dribble from the corners of his mouth and the voices will call up to him from the bottoms of his stomach saying..."FEED ME! FEED ME!"... It can be quite a burden." "I do so love bones," said Britt. "Yes," resumed Tay. "A fellow can't help but wonder about all of these bones. Are they big? Are they tasty? Are they crunchy, crisp, brittle, or sappy? Are they hard, soft, or perhaps chewy? Do the flavors range from sweet to sour? I have heard that where the ground is soft, a fellow might even find a bone with some meat still clinging to it. Oh there are times a fellow regrets he ever swore an oath to become a police dog. The looters, now they have the good life. But I will show them. Yessir! I am a Police Dog to the end." "Oh Tay!" Interrupted Britt. "What is the matter little pal," he asked. "Someone is digging," replied Britt. "Blasphemy!" Exclaimed Tay. "We cannot stand for it. Where is the scoundrel?" "I think he is beneath this stone," answered Britt. "Listen. I can hear him moving about." "SCRITCH! SCRITCH!" "It is an infernal Looter," proclaimed Tay. "He is quite smart. He has dug a tunnel beneath our very feet. He might have gone undetected had you not discovered his shenanigans. You have a keen ear, Britt. You will make a Police Dog yet. But stand aside now and let me demonstrate how a police dog punishes offenders of the law." "SCRITCH! SCRITCH!" went the noise beneath the stone. "SCRATCH! SCRATCH!" went Tay. "SCRITCH! SCRITCH!" "SCRATCH! SCRATCH! DIG! DIG!" went Tay. The police dog, Tay, dug and dug until he was fairly deep in the ground. Only his tail showed above the granite slab. "What is there," asked Britt. "What have you found?" Up from the hole came a pitiful little voice: "Is that you mommy," it asked. "WHAT'S THIS!" Shouted Tay. "I AIN'T YOUR MOMMY....... OUCH!....... LET ME GO! ............ TURN LOOSE!" "Don't leave me mommy," pleaded the wee little voice. "I am so hungry and it is cold down here in this dark, dark place." "AAAACK! ...... TURN ME LOOSE!" Shouted Tay. "LET GO YOU DEVIL. ......... YOU ARE CHOKING THE LIFE OUT OF ME. ......AAACK!.......... AACK!" "Oh mommy, it is so nice to hold you again. I have been so cold and you are so warm. I just want to SQUEEEEZE you forever." "AAACK!......... AAACK!" "What is wrong Tay," asked Britt. "Answer me. Answer me," she pleaded. "AACK!...........RUN! ..........AACK! ............... SAVE YOURSELF! ............. AAACK! ............ BRITTANY, THE DEVIL IS LOOSE! ........... AACK!" gasped Tay. "You smell so good mommy. I could just EAT you up." "AAARGH! .......... NO! ........ YOU INFERNAL BEAST. I AIN"T YOUR MOMMY. AAACK!" "I love you mommy," said the wee little voice. "You taste so good." "GOBBLE! GOBBLE! MUNCH! MUNCH!" "BURRRRP!!! Oh My! What have I done," asked that wee little voice. "Mommy? Mommy? Where are you mommy? I am so lonely, and it is cold down in this dark, dark place." Brittany called toTay: "Tay? Answer me Tay. What is happening down there?" She rushed to the hole and looked inside. There was no Tay. There was only two large glimmery black eyes peeking out at her, and a wee little voice said: "Oh, there you is Mommy. Please take me from this scary place," spoke the wee little voice. "What have you done with Tay," asked Britt. "I am sorry Mommy. I didn't mean to do it. I just couldn't help myself." "What have you done," asked Britt. "I ate him. I ate Mommy all up." "No you didn't." replied Britt. "Nobody could eat Tay. He is a trained professional Police Dog." "I'm sorry Mommy. It's just that I haven't eaten for so very long that my stomach has turned into a deep, dark hole. I could eat and eat and never get filled up. Have you got any vittles Mommy?" "NO!" Shouted Britt. "I DO NOT HAVE ANY VITTLES. AND I AM NOT YOUR MOMMY." "Come closer Mommy," spoke the wee little voice. "I am so very cold. See how I tremble. Hold me Mommy.......PLEEEASE!!!" "Stay where you are," replied Britt, "and I will go and fetch you a nice, warm blanket." "Thank you Mommy," said the wee little voice. "While you are at it, could you fetch me a glass of water ........ Pleeease?" "Of course I will. Just as soon as I make you nice and comfy," confided Britt. She promptly began to fill in the hole. "Ahah!" Said she. "I will teach you to eat my Buddy!" "What are you doing, Mommy," asked the wee little voice. "I am covering you with a nice blanket of soil to keep you warm," answered Britt. "That is alright, Mommy," said the wee voice. "I ain't cold no more. Just hold me close and I'll be warm enough. ........ Won't you hold me, Mommy? ......... Pleeease!" Britt had finished covering the grave. "No child," she answered. "Just you lie quiet and mommy will go fetch you a glass of water." "Really....... Mommy?" You ain't going to leave me, are you mommy? You are coming back for me ain't you Mommy?.....Mommy?.......Mommy?...................Mommy?" Brittany was nowheres near. She had spun on her heels and skeedaddled down the narrow dirt road. The wee little voice echoed behind her into the night: "Mommy?........Are you out there Mommy?" Brittany raced straight home and hid snugly beneath the bed of her friend and confidante, Candace Halstead. ********** At about this very moment, Candace and her friend Shamus were walking home from the local cinema along that very road. As they drew near the lone Mulberry tree, their voices could be heard above the swooshing of the night winds. "Brrrrrrrrr........!" shivered Candace. "This night air is quite chilly." "Awww....T'aint nothing," replied Shamus. "I wear short sleeves in Winter and walk barefeet in blizzards." "Oh My!" Exclaimed Candace. "You'll catch your death of cold." "Not me," said Shamus. "I skinny-dip in frozen fish ponds.' "....and you sing Soprano in the church choir," added Candace. ".....Oh yeah......That too," said Shamus. "But anyways, you see, the cold ain't nothing to a fellow like me. And I ain't scaird of nothing!" "Nothing at all?" Asked Candace. "Not a thing in this world," replied Shamus. There is no such thing as Vampires and Werewolves, nor Ghosts, nor Boogymen either." "If you really believe that," asked Candace. "You won't mind standing underneath that mulberry tree and counting to 100." "I will do it." Said Shamus. "You do know that the Boogyman will get you if you stand there too long," informed Candace. Everybody says so." "Everybody might say it," answered Shamus. "But nobody I know of has ever been got. Here, hold the flashlight and I'll do it. Shamus walked beneath the tree and commenced to count: " ......... ONE ...... TWO ........ THREE ..... FOUR ............." ".....SCRITCH!...........SCRITCH!........." "Did you hear that," asked Candace. "I didn't hear anything," said Shamus. ".....FIVE .........SIX ...... SEVEN ..............." "SCRITCH!...............SCRITCH!.........." "There it is again," said Candace." "Aww, it's probably just a armadillo in the weeds over there," said Shamus. "I'll go and catch it for you." "You will not!" Stated Candace. "I will too." Boasted Shamus. "Gimme that flashlight. I cain't chase no armadillo without no light." "Well go ahead then," replied Candace. "But if you get eaten by a Bloody-bone or a Hide-behind I'll never speak to you again." "It won't take me but a minute," said Shamus. I'll be right back." He hopped over the fence and disappeared into the cemetary searching the weeds with his flashlight. "SCRITCH!......SCRITCH!" Sounded a noise in the night. "Is that you Mommy?" Asked a wee little voice. Candace stomped her feet. "Shamus, get back here this minute," she demanded. There was no answer. "Shamus," she pleaded, I wanna go home." "I know it's you Mommy. I can hears you," said that wee little voice. "Shamus," warned Candace, "if you don't get back here I'm telling your mother." The wooden fence rattled and suddenly ....... suddenly Shamus was standing beside her. His face was ashen. He looked like a ghost. "Who was that I heard you talking to," asked Candace. "N...n...nobody," answered Shamus. "There wasn't nothing out there." "Come back Mommy," pleaded a wee little voice. "Don't leaves me ......." Shamus and Candace did not wait to reply. They raced down the road as fast as their two legs could carry them. ********* Unbeknownst to Candace and Shamus, the two had been followed from the picture show by two classmates named Michelle and Mindy. The two young girls spied on them from the shadows. "Did you see that," asked Mindy. "Yes. I think so," replied Michelle. "Uh, Mindy! What was it I saw?" "They were hiding something behind the tree," answered Mindy. "Oh Yeah," said Michelle. "They were doing that." "Yes they were," said Mindy. "And you and I are going to find it." "But.....But," interrupted Michelle, "We aren't going near that scary tree, are we?" "Yes we are," said Mindy. "At least I am. You don't have to go if you don't want to. But you can't be my friend any longer if you don't come with me." "But....But ...that tree is scary. Everybody says a Boogy-man lives in it's branches." "That is nonsense," replied Mindy. "Listen! If you want to be a scaredy cat then be one. I ain't afraid of that tree. I will go by myself and find what it was Shamus hid behind it." "Ohhhh......I am scared," said Michelle. "I guess I don't want to be your friend any more." "Be that way then," chided Mindy. "Who needs you anyway?" Mindy turned on her flashlight, walked to the tree and climbed over the rail in the direction of the hidden cemetary. She hadn't searched far when there was a sound: "SCRITCH!........SCRITCH!" "OH! THIS IS TOTALLY COOL!!" Exclaimed Mindy. "What is it," asked Michelle. "Have you found anything?" "THERE IS, LIKE, A TOTALLY COOL GRAVEYARD OUT HERE," answered Mindy. "Ohhh!" Stammered Michelle. "I am really scared now. Let's go home." "SCRITCH!.........SCRITCH!" went the sound. "IT'S OVER HERE," shouted Mindy. "I HAVE FOUND IT." "SCRITCH!.........SCRITCH!" "COME QUICK!" said Mindy. "I HAVE FOUND WHERE THEY WERE DIGGING. SOMETHING IS BURIED HERE. COME HELP ME DIG IT UP MICHELLE.' "I c...c...c...can't," stammered Michelle. "I am afraid of graveyards." "Suit yourself," said Mindy. "But you'll be sorry." "Please don't be mad at me," pleaded Michelle. "Please say you won't be angry at me," she begged. Mindy did not respond. With her flashlight she read the epitaph on the gravestone where she crouched. DOWN BELOW LIES HALO HE ATE HIS MOMMY DID YOU KNOW "SCRITCH!.........SCRITCH!" went the sound. Mindy began to dig into the loose soil. "I know they have a secret hidden here," said she. `"HELLO," asked a wee little voice from beneath the headstone. "Is that you'se Mommy?" ""Dear me," said Mindy. "What have they done? What awful secret do they have buried here?" "I knowed you'se would come back for me Mommy." "SCRITCH!.......SCRITCH!" "SCRATCH!..............SCRATCH!" ............... went the fingers of Mindy. "SCRITCH!.........SCRITCH!" ........................."SCRATCH!...........SCRATCH!" "Is that you Mommy," asked a pitifully wee little voice. "EEEEK!!!" Shouted Mindy. "EEEEK!!!" Replied Michelle, who stood out in the road. "EEEEEEK!! ................. ...............EEEEEEEEEK!! .................................EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK!!!!" "Have you'se come back for me Mommy," asked the wee voice. ""Oooooh! Aren't you cute," exclaimed Mindy. "EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK!!!!!" resumed Michelle out in the road. "Hold me Mommy," said the wee little voice. "Hug me! Cuddle me! Smother me with kisses! I is lonely. I just wanna be loved." "This is totally cool!" Proclaimed Mindy. "Come here quick Michelle," she added. "You have just got to see this ..... I mean ..... totally ...... It's to DIE for." "Oh Mommy," said the wee voice. "It is so nice to hold you again." "I am coming Mindy," shouted Michelle. The wooden fence rattled as she climbed over the rails. "Oh Mommy," said the wee voice. "I have been so very cold ....... and you are so nice and warm .......... I could just SQUEEZE you ....... FOREVER." "Where are you, Michelle," asked Mindy. "I'm coming," she replied. "You smell so good, Mommy," continued the wee voice. "I could just EAT you up!" "AAAACK!" .............. "LET LOOSE! ...................."AAARGH!!!" .......... "Y.....YOU'RE C..C..CHOKING ME!!" ..........."AAAACK!" "I loves you Mommy," said the wee voice. "You tastes so good!" "AAAACK!!! ............. HELP ME, MICHELLE!!!" .........................."AAACK!" ........ "NO!" .... "RUN!" ....... "RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!" ............"AAARGH!!" .........NO!! ......NO!! ....... NOOOOOOOO!!!" "GOBBLE! GOBBLE! MUNCH! MUNCH!" "........ BURRRRP!!!" ............ "Oh My! ........ What have I done," asked the wee voice. "Mommy?" ......... "Mommy?" ........... "Where are you Mommy?" "EEEEEEK!" ......... "EEEEEEEK!!" ........ "EEEEEEEEEEEEEEK!!!" Said Michelle, who arrived at the gravesite just in time to witness her classmate getting eaten. "EEEEEEK! ..... EEEEEK!! ........ EEEEEEK!!!" "Oh there you is, Mommy," said the wee little voice. "I thought you had left me all alone." "EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK!!!!" Resumed Michelle. "I am so very cold, Mommy," said the wee voice. "Won't you please hold me?" "EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK!!!" Continued Michelle. She turned about and fled into the darkness. She could be heard tripping over the headstones. The wooden rails rattled as she clambered over them. Her fast footsteps could be heard, loudly peltering the rocky road. Her screams continued to pierce the chill night air as she left the sanctity of the road and raced madly into the woods. "EEEK! ...... EEEEEK!! .............. EEEEEEEEEK!!!" "Don't leave me Mommy," shouted the wee little voice. A wee little creature with enormously large, glimmery, black eyeballs leapt out of the freshly dug hole and scampered quickly behind the badly frightened Michelle. "Don't walk so fast, Mommy," it pleaded. "I cannot keep up!" ................. "Wait for me Mommy!" ................. "I is coming!" Michelle's screams were soon lost within the madness of the night. Out on the road there scurried a small orphaned opossum. It's long slender tail was curled above it's back. It walked with quick, hurried steps. It's large dark eyes seemed to carry an illuminescence. It appeared to be a pitifully weak little creature but let me assure you it carried an enormous appetite. As it plodded down the road it began to sing a tune : 'Mommy! Mommy! Haven't you heard? Baby is gonna eat him a Mocking Bird: Gobble....Gobble.........Munch....Munch "Tweet! Tweet!" ...................CRUNCH!' ********** The weather began to change. The winds picked up. "......... SWOOSH! ......... SWISH! ... SWOOSH! ..." The trees leaned. Their branches groaned ....."OWOO! ... OWOOO! ..." The early night sky split open with a loud .......... "KABOOM!!!....SNAP!....CRACKLE!....SNAP!....CRACKLE!....CRACKLE!...SNAP!...KABOOM!!!" A torrent of rain began to fall........ "SPLITTER!...SPLATTER!...SPLITTER!...SPLATTER!...SPLASH!...BAM!...BOOM!" The streams began to swell, gurgle and foam. "GROAN!....STRETCH!....GURGLE!....GURGLE!....WHOOSH!!!" And in the middle of this summer storm, a wee little opossum goes ...."SPLITTER!....SPLATTER!....SPLITTER!....SPLATTER!" It stomped up to the doorstep of a tidy little house located at 3095 Pikes Peak Road. The night sky split open with a loud ... "RIPPP!!! .... STRETCH!!! .... RIPPP!!! ....STRETTTTCH!!! .... KABOOM!! .... SNAP!! ... CRACKLE!!! ....SNAP!!! .... STRETTTTCH!!! .... KABOOOOOOOOOMMM!!! ... SIZZLE!! .... SIZZLE!! .... SNAP!! .... CRACKLE!!! ...." and the lightning played chase with the sky. "Mommy? Mommy? Is you home Mommy," asked the wee little opossum who stood shivering in the cold, cold rain. "SKRITCH! ... SKRITCH!" went it's tiny paws on the large wooden door. "SKRITCH! ... SKRITCH!" Inside the house, Mamie Halstead had just settled down with a cup of hot chocolate and a dog-eared Harlequin Romance novel. She tried to ignore the roar of the winds, the crackling of the thunder, the razz-a-ma-tazz of the torrential rains ..... but...but she could not ignore that continual, irritatingly persistent scratching at the front door. "SKRITCH!...SKRITCH!" There it was. "SKRITCH!...SKRITCH!" There it went. "What on earth could it be," she asked. "Certainly it is no visitor braving this storm. Joseph is at work. The children are in bed. Brittany came inside hours ago and is hiding from the storm beneath Candace's bed. Perhaps it is only a tree branch blown up against the door by the winds.... yes .... of course that is all it could be. Be it beast or be it burden, it has no business skritching at my door ... and I shall tell it so. Mamie opened the door .... "WHOOSH!!" The wind blowed rain all over the floor and slammed the door back against the wall .... "SLAM!!" A wee little creature stood on the stoop. It's tiny voice somehow sounded above the crash and rumble of the storm ...... "HELLO MOMMY!" It shouted. "I IS HOME!" ...... The little opossum quickly scampered through the doorway, it's large glimmery eyes aglow with the lights of the storm. "OH NO YOU DON'T!" Mamie shouted. "YOU ARE NOT GOING TO TROMP MUD ACROSS MY FLOOR." "But Mommy," pleaded the little opossum. "Aren't you'se happy to see me?" "I AM NOT YOUR MOMMY!" Mamie answered. "BUT I DO KNOW WHAT YOU ARE. YOU ARE A GREMLIN ..... AND YOU ARE NOT WELCOME IN MY HOUSE!!!" "But I am so very wet, and cold Mommy ........ won't you'se roll me in a dry towel and tussel my hair .......... PLEEEEEEASE??? ........." "GET OUT OF MY HOUSE ........ YOU LITTLE HE DEVIL!!!" Shouted Mamie. She smartly whacked the opossum across the hindside with a broom and hurried it out onto the door stoop. She shut the door and bolted it against the dangers of the storm. "GOODNESS," sighed Mamie aloud. " A MOTHERS JOB IS NEVER DONE. "Imagine a Gremlin trying to sneak past my doorway disguised as a pint-sized opossum ....... Oh Well!!! ........ I wasn't born just yesterday." She returned to her hot chocolate and the steamy, dog-eared paperback. Outside, the storm resumed ..... "CRASH! ... SIZZLE!! ... SIZZLE!! ... SNAP! ... CRACKLE!! ... CRACKLE!! ... KABOOM!!! ... SIZZLE!! ... SIZZLE!!" "SKRITCH! .... SKRITCH!" sounded a noise at the door. Mamie lifted her eyes above the pages of the book .... sipped slowly at her hot chocolate .... and raised her voice, somewhat, to respond: "YOU HAD BEST GET AWAY FROM MY DOOR .... ELSE I WILL COME OUT THERE AND SLING A BIBLE AT YOU!" The skritching stopped. Little footsteps quickly scurried off of the front porch and into the drenching rain. "I know's you is in there, Mommy," said the little opossum. "But I'se gotta find another way to get in." It scampered ... "SPLITTER-SPLATTER ... SPLITTER-SPLATTER" through the turgid mud and around the corner of the house until it spied a window. "AH ..... YESSS!!! .....I is coming ... Mommy ....," it whispered. It tried to climb the walls of the house but the boards were slippery. It could not cling to anything. It backed far away from the wall, took a running jump and leaped high ... high into the air ... only not high enough. It tried again ... again ... and again. It finally decided to change it's tactics. It took a running jump and leaped onto an old truck parked beneath the window. With surprising agility it climbed onto the cab of the truck. From there, it leapt onto the window's sill and pressed it's large glimmery eyes against the glass, peering into the darkness of William Halstead's bedroom. It got it's small fingers beneath the window's pane and began to edge it up .... up .... up .... and up ...... until it was able to squeeze into the room. Once inside the room, the little opossum searched about. "Hello!" It whispered. "....... I know where you is, Mommy." The opossum began to climb up the side of the bed, clinging to the bedsheet ...... higher .... higher .... higher .... slowly .... closer .... until it had climbed to the top. It could hear William breathing, but it could not locate him beneath the covers. "I is coming Mommy," it whispered. It searched about the covers .... frantically .... ever closer .... and .... closer to where William's head lay snuggled on his pillow. "Oh ...... There you is, Mommy," it exclaimed. "I have searched ..... and searched ......" Suddenly, William's eyes flew open. A flash of lightning illuminated the room and all within it. Fire seemed to leap straight out of William's eyes at the little beast. William's mouth opened into a wide grin. His two hands flew out from the confines of the covers and grabbed at the little opossum The opossum tried to scream but it could not make a sound, it was frightened so. The room was plunged into darkness once more......................Outside the storm raged on. The rain knocked against the glass of the slightly ajar window and made a puddle on the floor. Soon another flash of lightning illuminated the room. Nothing seemed amiss. William slept snugly in his bed. A little smile played at the corners of his mouth. Soon he began to snore. The winds blew .... the Heaven's rumbled ..... the walls trembled ..... the tempest raged ...... the night wore on ..........................and beside the bed lay William's school lunchbox. Something inside the lunchbox went .............."SKRITCH! ......SKRITCH!" The following morning found the storm still raging outside. William and Candace were wolfing down their breakfasts as the schoolbus pulled up to the end of their lane and honked it's horn. William had been holding onto his lunchbox all morning. Shielding it beneath the table he had dumped the contents of his plate into it. There erupted a loud .... "BURPPP!" .... from beneath the table. "OH WILLIAM," exclaimed Candace. "GROSSS!!!" William grinned slyly. Mamie fitted them into their raincoats as they hustled out the door. As Candace and William got aboard the bus, the bus driver, Kim, glared at them. "......You'all need to get out here much faster or next time I might drive off without you," she said. "...And a nice day to you too," offered Candace sweetly. William smiled broadly as he hurried past, the lunchbox held tightly in his hand. As they gained their respective seats Kim was glaring meanly into her rearview mirror. The bus lurched to a start.The rain pounded strongly at the windshield. The wipers went ... "TICK ...TOCK! ....TICK! ... TOCK!" ... and the winds howled against the windows. Lightning flashed. Thunder rolled. "Let me see! .... Let me see!" someone whispered. "What is it," asked another. "Ooooh, it's so cute," whispered another. "Where did you get it? Will it bite? " "It shore has got big, glimmery eyes." "Is that you Mommy," asked a wee little voice. "Did it just say something," asked someone. "Naw, silly. Possums don't talk." "Is that what it is?" "Are you taking it to Show-N-Tell, William?" "Can I hold it?" "Can I have it? I'll give you my lunch money for it." "Hey!!! ..... Look. It just ate my math book .........WOW!!!" "............BURPPP!!!.............." "Oooooh! ......It shore has got bad breath. What's that thing been eating?" "I HEARD THAT!" Shouted Kim, the bus driver. "YOU KIDS GET BACK INTO YOUR SEATS! WILLIAM HALSTEAD! WHAT DO YOU HAVE IN THAT LUNCH BOX?" "A baby opossum, mam" answered William. "I ketched it for Show-N-Tell." "ANIMALS ARE NOT ALLOWED ON THIS BUS," Kim replied. "BRING IT TO ME THIS INSTANT." "Yes Mam!" obeyed William. Kim placed the lunchbox beneath her seat. She smiled smugly to herself. "... AND YOU CAN FORGET ABOUT EVER GETTING IT BACK," she added. "Don't you worry," whispered Candace to William. "I will go to the principal, Mr. Simmons, and he will make her give it back to you." Once the school bus was unloaded and parked, the bus driver Kim reached beneath her seat and retrieved the lunchbox. "So there is a baby opossum in there," she said. "I do hope it is a fat one. They are tender and tasty when they are young ..... and I certainly love boiled opossum." She opened the lunch box. "Let's have a look at you my tasty litle fellow ............." "Oh ........ Hello Mommy," spoke a wee little voice. "I is so happy to see you'se again." Kim was so startled that she dropped the lunchbox to the floor of the bus ... "CLANG! ... RATTLE! ... RATTLE! ..." The little opossum sprang back up at her .... "Won't you hold's me, Mommy .............PLEEEEASE???" Kim tried to scream but the opossum held tightly to her neck. "AAACK!!! .... AAAAARGH!!!" "I loves you Mommy," said the wee voice. ".... AAAACK!! .... I'M NOT YOUR MOMMY! ........ AAAAARGH!!! ......" "You smell's so good Mommy," resumed the wee voice. "Hold me ..... cuddle me .... squeeze me tight........" "..... AAAACK!! ........... NOOOOOOO!!! ........." "I could eats you all up.............. GOBBLE! ... GOBBLE! ..... MUNCH! ... MUNCH! .......... .......BURRRRP!!! ....................... Oh My! ........ What have I done? ....." Meanwhile Candace had gone directly to the principal's office to see Mr Simmons and report the incident on the bus. "Go to class," he replied. "I will see to this immediately. Mr Simmons stepped onto the school bus just in time to see Kim disappearing into the bowels of the tiny opossum. He stood there, eyes wide, face aghast. The opossum looked up from it's meal. "Oh ..... there you is Mommy. I is so happy to see you." Mr. Simmons turned about to flee. The opossum danced after him. "Don't run so fast Mommy ...... I is coming too ........" it called. Mr Simmons ran as fast as he could back into the schoolhouse. "HELP! ... HELP!" He pleaded. "...... HIDE ME! ... HIDE ME! .............................. OH MY LORD!!! ............. IT IS GOING TO EAT ME!" Inside her homeroom class, Candace could hear the commotion in the school hallway. "STAY IN YOUR SEATS, STUDENTS," spoke Mrs Shea, the homeroom teacher. "I MUST STEP OUTSIDE AND SEE WHAT HAS OVERCOME MR. SIMMONS." The children remained in their seats. "MR. SIMMONS!" shouted Mrs Shea. "WHAT IS AILING YOU?" "OH MRS. SHEA," replied he. "....HIDE ME .....QUICKLY ........... IT IS COMING ........... OH MY ......... OH MY .......... WE ARE ALL IN DANGER....." "ARE YOU DAFT SIR," scolded she. "WHAT IS COMING ......... WHY ARE WE IN DANGER?" "WE ARE DOOMED," answered he. "IT WILL EAT US ......... EAT US ALL." "MR SIMMONS!" said she. "GET A HANDLE ON YOURSELF AND TELL ME WHAT HAS FRIGHTENED YOU SO." "OH LORDY ... OH LORDY ..." mumbled he. " HERE IT COMES ........ " "Oh there you is Mommy," spoke a wee little voice. "I thought I might never find you." "KEEP IT BACK ... MRS. SHEA ......... IN THE NAME OF MERCY .........KEEP IT AWAY FROM ME." "SHAME ON YOU, MR. SIMMONS......... IT IS ONLY A BABY OPOSSUM." "IT IS A DEVIL ..... A FIEND ............. IT WILL EAT US ALL ......." "Why do you run, Mommy," asked the wee voice. "Don't you love me. Don't you want to hug me, and squeeze me, and smother me with kisses." "NO!! .... NO!!! ....." stammered Mr. Simmons. " .... AAAACK!!! ........... AAAAAARGH!!!" "I loves you Mommy. You smells so good ...................... I could eats you all up." "....... GOBBLE! ...... GOBBLE! ..... MUNCH! ..... MUNCH! .............. Oh MY ........ What have I done?" "EEEEEEEEEEEK!!!!" Screamed Mrs. Shea. "EEEEEEEEEEEK!!!!" Screamed the wee opossum. "Oh ..... You frightened me Mommy." "EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK!!!" Screamed all the children in the classroom. "EEEEK!!!" screamed Mrs. Shea. ".......... I AM NOT YOURE MOMMY." "Don't tease me Mommy," said the wee voice. "........ just hold me close and loves me." "I AM NOT YOUR MOMMY! ........... I AM NOT YOUR MOMMY!" replied Mrs Shea. She fled down the hallway. Her high heels went ...... CLAPPITY-CLAP ..... CLAPPITY-CLAP .... on the polished tile. Mrs Shea's voice faded away................ I AM NOT YOUR MOMMY .............NOT YOUR MOMMY ............ NOT YOUR MOMMY .........Not Your Mommy ............not your mommy .............." A hush fell. The children inside the classroom held their breaths. A small head with large glimmery eyes magically appeared in the doorway. A smile spread across the face of the little creature ............. "I IS SO HAPPY!" Spoke it's wee little voice. "I HAS GOT LOTS AND LOTS OF MOMMIES!!!" Pandemonium erupted. The misguided little opossum was trampled in the panic that occurred. Hundreds of little feet stampeded over it from every direction imaginable as the children fled the schoolhouse. Candace remained in her seat until all was quiet. The children had all escaped. She peeked out of the classroom and there in the hallway lay the trampled, and lifeless form of the little opossum. "You poor thing," said she. "I will see that you get buried in a nice box." She reached to pick up the wretched creature, but suddenly jerked her hands away.............." OUCHHH!!! ............. YOU BIT ME ..... YOU VICIOUS LITTLE CREATURE." "I tricked you Mommy," said the wee little voice. The opossum leapt up at her. "......... Hold me Mommy ..... Squeeze me ..... Cuddle me ..... Smother me with kisses ...." "OH NO YOU DON'T!" Said Candace. "I KNOW HOW TO HANDLE OPOSSUMS." Before it could reach her, Candace grabbed it by the tail. "AWW! ...... let me go Mommy ........ PLEEEEASE!!! ..............I will be good ......... I promise ..." Candace carried it back into the classroom and shut it inside her lunch box ......... "SKRITCH! ... SKRITCH!" "I must rid the world of this evil," said she. "But how?" "Hello?" Said a wee little voice. "I know's you is out there Mommy." *********** Weeks passed. Mrs. Shea was spending her days inside a padded room, muttering to herself : ".......... Not Your Mommy ..... Not Your Mommy ...... Not your Mommy ............" Across the hallway in a similar room resided a young girl named Michelle who crouched in the corner and continued to scream: ......EEEK! ... EEEK! ... EEEK! ..." The both of them recovered eventually, but it required extensive therapy. The whereabouts of Mr. Simmons, Kim, Mindy, and Tay were never disclosed. As for the opossum. It found itself let loose one night in a deep dark wood outside of a dimly lit cabin. It heard the sound of retreating footsteps but could see no one. It searched around and around but could not find anyone. "Is you teasing me Mommy," it asked. "I know's you is watching me." Finally, convinced it was alone, it approached the cabin where a warm fire burned in the hearth and a scrawny, black cat played with a large hairy toe on the rug, in the middle of the floor. It was the black cat who had come to visit and would never go home. The hairy toe was all that remained of Ol' Cornelius Poe who had lived his entire life in that cabin , up until the arrival of that infernal cat. Try as he did, he could not rid himself of that black cat. Each time he tried the cat would return. One day the cat became bored with the dead mouse it kept as a playtoy and decided to replace it with Ol' Cornelius' large gout afflicted, tenderly sore, and hairy big toe which Ol' cornelius pampered and kept propped up on the coffee table. That was the undoing of poor Mr. Poe .... because the cat now has the toe. "Oh .......... There you is Mommy," said the wee little opossum. "MEEOW! ... HACK! ... SNORT! ... COUGH ... MEEOW!" replied the cat and it continued to play with it's big hairy toe. "I have missed you Mommy," continued the opossum. "I could just hug you forever ..... You is so warm ... Mommy..... and you smells so good ........... I could just eat you all up ......." "... GOBBLE! ... GOBBLE! ... MUNCH! ... MUNCH! ... GOBBLE! ... GOBBLE! ... CRUNCH!" "Oh My!" said the wee opossum ........"What has I done? ........ . It turned suddenly around, for there was a noise at the door. Into the cabin sauntered the same scrawny black cat it had just eaten. "MEEOW! ... HACK! ... SNORT! ... COUGH! ... MEEOW!" "I is so happy you is back, Mommy," said the Opossum. "I thought you was gone forever. I did miss you so ............... Won't you hold me Mommy? ............... PLEEEEASE!!! ........." But the black cat crossed into the room and picked the opossum up by the scruff of his neck and sauntered with him out into the night. It left that Great Big Hairy Toe lying on the floor. To this day, the cat and his new playtoy have not returned. Wherever they went I do not know and I am sure we are better off without them. It is said that the cat yet plays with it's new pet on a hearth before a much hotter fire ............... with all luck you will never visit them there. "WELL LOOKY HERE," spoke the Devil, "MY CAT HAS COME BACK!" "MEEOW! ... HACK! ... SNORT! ...COUGH! ... MEEOW! ..." replied the cat. "OH HI THERE MOMMY," spoke a wee little voice. "GOBBLE! ... GOBBLE! ... MUNCH! ... MUNCH! ... GOBBLE! ... GOBBLE! ... CRUNCH!" ************ EPILOGUE It was another moonless night. Mamie Halstead had just settled down to a restful night's sleep when her daughter Candace called to her from her bedroom down the hallway: "MOMMY ............" "Yes Dear," she replied. "Could you bring me something to eat .................I am suddenly so very ..... very hungry. Will you bring me a sandwich .............. PLEEEEEASE!!? ........" "MY GOODNESS DEAR," exclaimed Mamie as she entered her daughter's bedroom. "What large glimmery eyes you have tonight." "The better to see you with ... ," replied Candace. "YOU LOOK SO GOOD MOMMY ..... I COULD JUST EAT YOU ALL UP." POSSUM TAIL! POSSUM TAIL! WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN I SURE HOPE THIS ISN'T STARTING OVER AGAIN
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