The Seed Spitting Monkey Toed Rhinoceros Hog


George Lewis Avery

Long, long ago dinosaurs roamed
This swampy world and called it home.
The mighty beast preyed upon the lesser
or so I was told by my professor.

And somewhere within the Jungle of Grog
Lived a Seed-Spitting, Monkey-Toed, Rhinoceros Hog
The tastiest bacon that ever was born
And it was wrapped in pigskin, beneath a rhinoceros' horn

Is it no wonder that it was sought after
By the meat-eating T-Rex and Velociraptor
Who came to Grog Jungle seeking both breakfast and lunch
And of course a Seed-Spitting, Monkey-Toed, Rhinoceros Hog brunch

Now this piglet had a great big horn on its snoot
That came in quite handy in uprooting roots
It feasted on melons that grew on Grog Nile
And could spit a seed at least a Grog mile

At home in the muck and swaddling vine
It slept in the hollow of a Nile melon rind
Till the large meat eaters rousted it out
And littered Grog Jungle with ownerless snouts

Needless to say when the feasting was done
If you sought through all of Grog Jungle you could find only ONE
And this piglet proclaimed: "They'll never eat me
Just to make sure,I'll climb the world's tallest tree."

So using its toes it climbed up to where
The uppermost branches tickled the air
Hanging by its fingers from the outermost limb
It observed the hungry dinosaurs searching for him

They stomped on the melons and fished the Grog mire
But not the first one of them thought to search higher
Safe in a tree above the Jungle of Grog
Long dwelt the Seed-Spitting, Monkey-Toed, Rhinoceros Hog

Each evening it would climb down using strong monkey toes
And spear a ripe melon with the horn on it's nose
It would carry it high to the branches above
And feast on the sweet flesh it so dearly did love

At night in the Heavens two full moons would arise
That looked much like melons both in shape and in size
Perhaps they were two melons dangling up there
And were delicious like the fruits on the Isle of Wambahr

"Oh, if only such a melon were to grow on Grog Nile
And why should it not, can I not spit a Grog mile
Perhaps even farther if I will only practise my throw
Once I've knocked down a melon it's seeds will soon grow

It then spat a hard seed at a Raptor on Knool
A far distant mountain at the edge of Gambool
The seed struck with precision on the tendermost loin
Then richocheted off and is most likely still going

It then turned to the moon that hung straight above
And spat a seed from it's tongue using it's mightiest shove
That little seed struck with a thunderous sound
And the moon broke in half and came tumbling down

One half of the moon struck in the Desert of Tulle
The other half landed in the Mountains of Knool
It cracked open the earth and made hot lava run
And a mountain of dust soon blocked out the sun

The Ice Age began and I assure you my friend
That is how the mighty dinosaur came to it's end
You have probably wondered why there is only one moon in our sky
So I have included a free lesson whereby the dangers of spitting apply

I have heard it whispered by the crashing waves in the Sea
That somewhere to this day survives the World's Oldest Tree
And in the uppermost branches with it's eyes still agog
Clings a Seed-Spitting, Monkey-Toed, Rhinoceros Hog


THE END

.oeg © †

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