---

George Lewis Avery

---

t other night
camp was settled
and i was plannin' supper

the stones had been laid
in a circle and
the fire was a courtin'
the cauldron where
a soup was gently baublin'
gurglin'
[fer those of ye fussy about grammer]
gurglin' like a pleasant meadowbrook
and assailing the air
wit a most pleasing smell

i ain t no talented chef
but i can throw a meal together
accordin' to the dictates of my belly
and to the polish of my tongue
i poked in my finger
[for a taste see]
and right away
i knowed it lacked
a essential ingredient
and if i ain' no happy cook
i ain' no happy diner

cussin' my luck
i slipped off into the darkness
to gather some sage or rosemary
or whatever other aromatic fern
i might encounter and
[sure enough]
after moseying about fer half an hour
i started back to camp with a fistful of leaves
i d scalped from the landscape
when
to my amazement
another gent was leanin' above my cauldron
[his pulsating nostrils] inhaling the rising steam
and a wolfish gleam in his eye

[as my jaw dropped]
this insurgent reached into his pocket
and fetched out a wooden spoon
with which he began to taste the soup
[my soup]
he then smacked his lips together
[a time or two] all the while
shakin' his head in disapproval
i smiled menacingly
while scouting fer a stick
to toss at the varmint
and maybe scare it away from my vittles
the nerve [of that coyote]
sneakin' into my camp
helpin' hisself to my soup
and it not proper seasoned

the worst was yet to come
for this all assumin' gent
pulled out a pouch containing
assundrous herbs and garnish
and with an air of audacity
[probably appropriated from some
eastern culinary institute of higher learning]
he commenced to flavoring
my supper to his own personal taste

i dropped my stick
oh no you don t [i hollered as]
i grabbed him by the soles of his feet
and toppled him into the boiling concoction
[sure] he bobbed up for air a time or two
but i d push him back under wit my finger
till he'd softened down a mite
and
some time later
as i sopped a sloppy biscuit
along the greasy bottom of that cauldron
i slapped me unemployed han'
gainst my engorged stomach
and belched so loud
the clouds burst
and as the fallin' rain
stung me eye
i was moved to oratory
in whose grand invocation
i forgave that presumptuous gent
for his transgreshun s gainst me
and even allowed him his due
fer makin my meal complete

glancin' over at the pile of bones
i d done boiled the color out of
and picked clean of taller
and suckled free of marrow
before tossin onto the heap
my eye delayed upon the skull
of that unfortunate
and [i ll swear]
it was grinnin' from ear 'ole to ear 'ole

~i am †roll

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