Once there were three little pigs who lived together in perfect harmony with
each other, as all siblings should. They had great respect for all of the other
animals in the kingdom, celebrating the differences in physiognomy and
physiology which made each animal distinct.
They also lived in perfect harmony with their environment. And when they
decided to each construct their own homes, they vowed to only use materials that
were indigenous to the area to conserve precious resources. In point-of-fact,
they each built a beautiful house, each house a personification of their
individual values and personalities.
One pig decided to build a house of straw. With his two brothers, he traveled
to all of the fields in the region and gathered that which the reapers had
missed in order to leave the land ready for the next crop.
When the first structure was completed, and properly inspected and approved
by the woodland authorities, the second one wanted a house constructed of
sticks. Our three heros gathered only that woodfall not suitable for crafts,
leaving the woods they gleaned safe for travel and replanting.
The second house completed, the three constructed the third house of dung,
clay and creeper vines shaped into bricks and baked in a small smokeless kiln.
When they were finished, the pigs were satisfied with their work and settled
back to live in peace and self-determination. But their idyllic life-styles were
soon shattered. One day, along came a big, bad wolf with expansionist ideas.
He saw the pigs and grew very hungry in both a physical and ideological
sense. When the pigs saw the wolf, they ran into the house of straw. The wolf
ran up to the house and banged on the door, shouting, "Little pigs, little pigs, let me in !"
The pigs shouted back, "Your terrorist tactics impinge
no fear for pigs who are defending their homes and culture."
But the wolf wasn't to be denied what he thought was his manifest destiny. So
he huffed and puffed and blew down the house of straw. The frightened pigs ran
to the house of sticks, with the wolf in hot pursuit.
Where the straw house had stood, other wolves seized the land and planned a
chicken farm, where they would cruelly force the birds to live in over-crowded
coops and increase profits by ignoring any problems caused by manure polluting
the near-by streams.
Meanwhile, at the house of sticks, the wolf again banged on the door and
shouted, "Little, pigs, little pigs, let me in
!"
The pigs shouted back, "Go to hell, you carnivorous,
imperialistic oppressor !"
At this the wolf huffed and puffed and blew down the house of sticks. The
pigs ran to the house of bricks, with the wolf close at their heels.
Where the house of sticks had stood, other wolves made plans a time-share
condo resort complex for vacationing wolves, each unit would be a fiberglass
replica of the original house of sticks. They planned massive water canals and
dams, long known to both wreck and flood the surrounding fragile landscape.
Meanwhile, at the house of bricks, the wolf again banged on the door and
shouted, "Little pigs, little pigs, let me in
!"
This time in response, the pigs sang songs of solidarity and wrote strong
letters of protest to the Editor of the Woodland Journal.
By now the wolf was getting angry at the pigs' refusal to see the situation
from the carnivore's point of view. So he huffed and puffed, and huffed and
puffed, then grabbed his chest and fell over dead from a massive heart attack
brought on from eating too many fatty foods.
The three little pigs rejoiced that justice had triumphed and did a little
dance around the house that had saved them. Their next step was to liberate
their homeland. They gathered together a band of other animals who had been
forced off their lands.
The brigade of brave lil' pigs attacked the wolves' Total Quality Management
Planning Complex with machine-guns and rocket launchers and slaughtered the
cruel wolf oppressors, sending a clear signal to the rest of the hemisphere not
to meddle in their internal affairs.
Then the pigs set up a model socialist democracy with free education,
universal health care and affordable housing for everyone.
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